I really never got it. Every time I showed the Sderot video, every time I talked about what people can do in 15 seconds, every time I updated my facebook status about rockets in Israel. I didn't actually understand until I had to run to the shelter. Until I was the one that was running, I was the one that heard it while I was in the bathroom. Now I finally understand.
This morning, I looked at the newspaper and on the front page was a picture of an 11 year old boy talking about what he does when the rockets fall and how his house doesn't have any safe room and so sometimes he throws up because he has no protection. That is not childhood.
And then I heard the siren and I was the one that wanted to throw up. Because the rockets aren't far away. They are here. Right next to me. it's no longer a hasbara campaign I'm launching during Israel peace week. It's my life. And it's really fucking scary.
I was sitting in the shelter waiting for the all clear sound and nobody was even phased by it. "it's annoying" they said. "can we leave yet?" "I have things to do". THESE PEOPLE ARE USED TO IT. And it is so sad. It's so sad that there is nothing to do except for get used to it. And Israelis continue with their lives. Its not ok. When Israel has air strikes in Gaza, its not because they feel like it. Its because it's not ok that people have to run for their lives 10 times a day. In half of an hour, we ran twice. I'm sure it'll happen again. When I spoke about it with the girls in my office, they told me that I'll get used to it too. But I don't want to get used to it. And they shouldn't be used to to it either.
I came to Israel to live and I intend to stay here. But I hope and pray that my kids will read about tzeva adoms in their history book instead of experiencing them while staying home from school because it's too dangerous to go.
So tell your friends who are reading the NY Times, watching CNN and NBC what's really going on. That Israelis are interrupting their daily routine in order to run to bomb shelters. And until they stop shooting rockets, we will continue to fight for our right to live our lives without sirens.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Slow but not so steady
I've been on my new base for about a month now and part of me feels like I've been here forever. The other part f me feels like I just got here. The army is a weird thing in this country. It's an army in a sense that there are commanders and officers, and people with weapons, and there are people on guard duty all the time. On the other hand, it's an entire social network like a school. People have groups of friends on base, there's always gossip, work to be done and advice to be given about boys and life. There's no real vacation, it's year round, but every weekend you get to go home to the real world.
My month here has been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster. I cry a lot but I also laugh a lot. The key words seem to be "לאט לאט״ which means slowly slowly. Adjustment takes time for everyone...and will take longer for me because of my language, culture, and age barrier. I work with a stag of 4 girls. Right now there are 5 of us, because I am taking a place of one girl who is leaving in a month. It's difficult. I have a ton to learn, but I won't actually learn until I jump in and start doing things. I'm meeting a ton of people, but I never remember their names and a lot of times it's hard for me to follow conversations when were in a group of people. One on one it's a lot easier, but I have yet to get he chance. But I love the girls in my office. Im here with one girl from my course, and I don't know what I would do without her.
Last week I led my first peulah (activity/lecture) on the Israeli flag (typical). I did it for my unit...about 10 to 15 people. We talked about why countries have flags and we looked at pictures of different situations that incorporates the flag: burning it, soldiers carrying it during war, my graduation hat, etc. we discussed the emotion behind the flag and debated whether or not Israeli youth recognize the importance. I think it went pretty well. My officer told me that it really came from my heart and because of that it made it really special. I think that is really what is going to make me a strong Mashakit Chinuch. The fact that every peulah I do about Israel or Zionism or Judaism (basically everything) is really going to come from my heart because i really believe in it.
Its hard to be here at times. I feel lonely a lot and sometimes I feel that I won't make any real friends on base. But the other day when I had dinner with Lital, she told me that in two years when I finish it's going to be totally worth it. My Hebrew will be amaing I will understand a lot more about Israeli culture, and I will have gone trough why most Israelis have gone through. It's just hard to remember that sometimes.
Even in my saddest most depressed moments though, I know that coming to Israel was the right thing to do. Tho really is the place that I belong. I really really believe in being here, and even though I don't always feel like I'm fully a part of this country, I know that I'm here for a reason and I know that my children will be here as Israelis.
My month here has been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster. I cry a lot but I also laugh a lot. The key words seem to be "לאט לאט״ which means slowly slowly. Adjustment takes time for everyone...and will take longer for me because of my language, culture, and age barrier. I work with a stag of 4 girls. Right now there are 5 of us, because I am taking a place of one girl who is leaving in a month. It's difficult. I have a ton to learn, but I won't actually learn until I jump in and start doing things. I'm meeting a ton of people, but I never remember their names and a lot of times it's hard for me to follow conversations when were in a group of people. One on one it's a lot easier, but I have yet to get he chance. But I love the girls in my office. Im here with one girl from my course, and I don't know what I would do without her.
Last week I led my first peulah (activity/lecture) on the Israeli flag (typical). I did it for my unit...about 10 to 15 people. We talked about why countries have flags and we looked at pictures of different situations that incorporates the flag: burning it, soldiers carrying it during war, my graduation hat, etc. we discussed the emotion behind the flag and debated whether or not Israeli youth recognize the importance. I think it went pretty well. My officer told me that it really came from my heart and because of that it made it really special. I think that is really what is going to make me a strong Mashakit Chinuch. The fact that every peulah I do about Israel or Zionism or Judaism (basically everything) is really going to come from my heart because i really believe in it.
Its hard to be here at times. I feel lonely a lot and sometimes I feel that I won't make any real friends on base. But the other day when I had dinner with Lital, she told me that in two years when I finish it's going to be totally worth it. My Hebrew will be amaing I will understand a lot more about Israeli culture, and I will have gone trough why most Israelis have gone through. It's just hard to remember that sometimes.
Even in my saddest most depressed moments though, I know that coming to Israel was the right thing to do. Tho really is the place that I belong. I really really believe in being here, and even though I don't always feel like I'm fully a part of this country, I know that I'm here for a reason and I know that my children will be here as Israelis.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)