I've been on my new base for about a month now and part of me feels like I've been here forever. The other part f me feels like I just got here. The army is a weird thing in this country. It's an army in a sense that there are commanders and officers, and people with weapons, and there are people on guard duty all the time. On the other hand, it's an entire social network like a school. People have groups of friends on base, there's always gossip, work to be done and advice to be given about boys and life. There's no real vacation, it's year round, but every weekend you get to go home to the real world.
My month here has been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster. I cry a lot but I also laugh a lot. The key words seem to be "לאט לאט״ which means slowly slowly. Adjustment takes time for everyone...and will take longer for me because of my language, culture, and age barrier. I work with a stag of 4 girls. Right now there are 5 of us, because I am taking a place of one girl who is leaving in a month. It's difficult. I have a ton to learn, but I won't actually learn until I jump in and start doing things. I'm meeting a ton of people, but I never remember their names and a lot of times it's hard for me to follow conversations when were in a group of people. One on one it's a lot easier, but I have yet to get he chance. But I love the girls in my office. Im here with one girl from my course, and I don't know what I would do without her.
Last week I led my first peulah (activity/lecture) on the Israeli flag (typical). I did it for my unit...about 10 to 15 people. We talked about why countries have flags and we looked at pictures of different situations that incorporates the flag: burning it, soldiers carrying it during war, my graduation hat, etc. we discussed the emotion behind the flag and debated whether or not Israeli youth recognize the importance. I think it went pretty well. My officer told me that it really came from my heart and because of that it made it really special. I think that is really what is going to make me a strong Mashakit Chinuch. The fact that every peulah I do about Israel or Zionism or Judaism (basically everything) is really going to come from my heart because i really believe in it.
Its hard to be here at times. I feel lonely a lot and sometimes I feel that I won't make any real friends on base. But the other day when I had dinner with Lital, she told me that in two years when I finish it's going to be totally worth it. My Hebrew will be amaing I will understand a lot more about Israeli culture, and I will have gone trough why most Israelis have gone through. It's just hard to remember that sometimes.
Even in my saddest most depressed moments though, I know that coming to Israel was the right thing to do. Tho really is the place that I belong. I really really believe in being here, and even though I don't always feel like I'm fully a part of this country, I know that I'm here for a reason and I know that my children will be here as Israelis.
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