I have two homes.

It was Israeli Independence Day here. I was with one of my best friends from Boston University. We both chose to leave America and live in Israel. Dancing in the streets of Haifa, I was was on my latest Zionist highs. Then I happened to look at my phone and I had a text in the group I have with my BU friends. There were two bombs at the Boston Marathon. What? The Boston marathon? That even I used to celebrate by drinking all day and screaming motivational sayings at the runners? It couldn't be. It's Boston. As Krim and I looked at all the images and videos and testimonies the next day, I struggled with my emotions. I had spend three fantastic years in Boston. I enjoyed my time, exploring the city, going to events, and building the economy with coffee from various cafes. I also spent my time there thinking about Israel. Whether it was Operation Cast Lead or the Carmel Fire, I longed to be a part of Israel, to understand the tragedy, to do my part to help.

It's hard, feeling loyalty to two different places. It's not that I'm always wishing to be in America, but this week deepened the love I have for the Land of the Free, the country that I grew up in. I constantly was reading the news, talking with my BU friends, and liking the statuses of all o my BU almni friends. It's true that in times of tragedy you feel the patriotism. I won't lie. But I do love America. Seeing that someone could penetrate Boston, the greatest city in America, my city, infuriated me just as much as it infuriates me to see rockets fall in my current home, Israel.

So I thought a lot about my life. Had I chosen my Jewish identity over my American identity? Am I an ex-pat? Am I no longer a part of the American Jewish community? And how do i feel about all of this?

But the truth is I don't need to answer these questions. I will always be an American (just ask everyone on my army base who giggles every time they hear my accent). I will always feel loyalty to Boston and Philadelphia and America. I will be sad on Thanksgiving and celebrate July 4th in my own way. But I will also enjoy Israel's Independence day, bask in the glory of Kosher for Passover restaurants, and enjoy the Jewish State. I don't need to choose, I just need to realize that it is not an identity struggle I have to deal with. I am privileged. I feel comfortable in two places. I have two passports. I speak two languages. I have two homes.

Remembering the past but living the present

Everybody talks about the moment of silence and the siren that rings throughout Israel on Holocaust Remembrance Day. They talk about how people got out of cars to stand, about the ceremonies, the moment where everyone stops what they're doing in order to remember, to not forget. But what about the moments leading up to the siren? What about the people who are on their way to work, stop for a minute, but then continue. Or, in my case on the train, the people who stood up and hung up on their boyfriends in the middle of a fight in order to respect and remember, only to pick up the phone again after the moment of silence. The difference is, however, instead of continuing the fight, the woman apologizes and says she loves him. Did this woman spend her minute of silence thinkin about how annoying her boyfriend is and just decided to give up or did she truly remember the victims and realize that this tiny fight isn't worth it in the long term.

I remember last year asking Heddy (shout out!) where she was during the siren. She explained that she wasn't doing anything special. She was on her way to work, walking in the streets of Tel Aviv. Nothing too Zionist. But isn't the ordinary walk in Tel Aviv Zionist in itself? Isn't it true that we don't need to do anything extraordinary in this country if we already live here? This year, instead of thinking about the past, I thought about the present. I had the privilege of visiting the house of a survivor. As part of a project conducted by the education unit in the IDF, I went an sat with a survivor to hear his story. He then showed me a list of at least 15 pages of the names of all of his father's decadents. "If only I could show the Nazis how they failed to wipe us out" he told me. This statement consumed my mind this year on Holocaust Remembrance Day. I will Never forget the Holocaust, and i will never take for granted this land. The Nazis failed. Everyday when people get up and go to work, speak in Hebrew, get married, raise kids, and have a cup of coffee in a Cafe, they are showing the world to what extent we won.

It's important to remember. It's important to take that minute and think. But it's important afterwards, as well, to look around:at the normal conversation, the newspaper reading, the texting, and realize that we are a living Holocaust Memorial. The land and people of this country remember the past, live the present, and plan the future. It is in our hands to Never Forget. For me, that does not mean to stand once a year in silence. And it doesn't mean to just attend a ceremony and post a Facebook status. I am remembering and honoring the victims of my life as living as a Jew in the Jewish homeland. I am remembering them by moving to this incredible country and joining the International Jewish army. I am remembering them by living my life as a free citizen in a free country.

I will never forget, but it is our job to make sure the world does not forget us.

Pride

November 22, 2012

I'm tired. I'm emotionally and physically worn out from this past week and I'm not even a fighter in the army.  As a soldier on the Naval base in Ashdod, I've been bombarded by missiles the past two weeks. Every 10 minutes I had to drop what I was doing and run to a bomb shelter.  But that hardly was exhausting. As part of my position in the army, my soldiers turn to me for help and advice.  Not only do I educate them and take them on hikes, but I'm also a friend, a shoulder to lean on, and a break from reality.  So when my soldiers came in day after day, night after night with horrifying stories, tears in their eyes, broken down spirits, and a longing for their moms, I, too, felt what they felt.  These are 18 year old boys that should be drinking beer and hanging out with friends.  They should not be going out to sea in a war against terrorists in the Gaza Strip.

Running for our lives is something that Israelis are not willing to accept.  This ceasefire is temporary.  No more than 10 minutes after CNN reported that the ceasefire had been put into effect I was running to a bomb shelter yet again.  These past two weeks was just a small taste of what goes on in Israel.  The rockets didn't start two weeks ago, they started 12 years ago.  We just didn't fight back as hard, because we have heart. We understand the value of human life,  we understand the implications of our actions, and we understand the importance to defend our homeland.  And defending the civilians of the south and of all of Medinat Yisrael was what the past two weeks were all about.  I can only pray that it worked...

November 30, 2012

It seems as if the world has forgotten already that a week ago there was a war against Israel.  They have forgotten about the civilians that ran for cover, about the bus bomb, about the rockets that fell like rain over the south and the center of Israel.  Sometimes I feel that in Israel, too, people have forgotten.  But then, every once in a while I hear a noise and I stop and think about where the closest shelter is. Sometimes, even after the ceasefire, my "tzeva adom" application on my iphone goes off when there is a rocket in Sderot or the surrounding areas.  And then I remember.  I remember that even though the news is no longer covering the situation, there still is a situation.  And I have to admit, that I have tried SO hard to think about the other side.  But I just cannot seem to understand how people sympathize with Hamas.  With the citizens of Gaza, I  do sympathize.  I feel terrible they truly believed that Hamas would help improve their state of living.  I feel terrible that they live in fear of their government.  That they send their children to learn how to be terrorists, that instead of listening to Israel's warning to evacuate a building, they gather more people--ready to die--when Israel comes to bomb (which they usually won't if there are people inside).  

But we are not the bad guy.  We are simply doing what Hamas does not: protecting our citizens.  The past few weeks have made me so incredibly proud to be Jewish, Israeli, and most importantly, a soldier.    I am a part of something incredible.  I am a part of a movement that works night and day, week after week, month after month, year after year, to protect my country.  I may not be a fighter, but I help this country survive.  And every day I am happy to be here.  

A series of unrelated thoughts רק בישראל

I have a lot to say and a lot of it isn't connected so I think I'm just going to randomly list my thoughts because I want to make sure I keep it all recorded

A few days ago I took some of my soldiers to the bahai gardens. We're standing there and I look over and see a group of American teenagers. On one of their shirts I see "chon" and I thought what are the chances it's machon? Then I see a sprout shirt. I realized that it was machon but that the chances of knowing them were slim to none. And then, I saw Avi kessler. I go over to him and then I realize that a good 15 sprout kids (all my campers) were there!!!!! It was a beautiful moment on so many levels. First of all, in terms of Zionism, it was cool that I was in uniform and they saw me with my soldiers. I always talked about making Aliyah and then I actually did it. On a level even higher than that, I had a dream, and they alllllll knew it was my dream and they saw me living my dream. As their counselor (once upon a time), it was important for me to show them that it doesn't matter what their dream is, they really really can achieve it. It was just one more link to camp and my life and I'm glad I had that moment. Love you guys.

I'm on a train and there is no air conditioning. I'm dying. But only in this country will an old man hand out newspaper to fan yourself with and ten proceed to talk to you. My entire railroad car is talking right now. Literally. Were all in the middle of a conversation. I love Israel.

I sat next to a girl at the train station who looked like she came out of te "in a slave for you" music video. She heard me speak English and then we had a 20 minute conversation on Zionism and the importance of joining the army. she's a crazy liberal pacifist who has a million piercing and is 21 and has decided to draft because she think it's important. Love this country.

I'm seriously considering officers course. I'm not sure, but I'm leaning towards yes. The reasons i don't want to go? I love my base, I love my job, and I'll miss my best friend Avital on my base. I cant believe that 6 months ago I was super sad and depressed an thought id never be happy. Now I can read the newspaper and j have best friends.

My friends from the army are spending the weekend at Regba with me. It's gonna be epic. I can't wait.

I'm going to America on Sunday for a month and I'm sad to leave Israel, an my garin, and my friends, and my boyfriend, and my base. But I'm excited to visit everyone in America.

It's super hot here and there is no air on my base because it's super humid and there are cockroaches on my base and I hate it, but I deal with it because I'm happy.

I got a Facebook message from another one of my old campers, Rachel, who just finished working at sprout for first session and she expressed to me her gratitude that I was a good counselor. She told me a few incidents that I didn't remember at all of things that stuck with her. It made me so happy and proud I say I was a sprout lake counselor. I can't wait till she comes on year course in September.


Yesterday there was a pigua in Bulgaria and it made me so sad. It made me think about the car accident and how we just were in shock and kept saying that things like this don't happen to people we know they just happen to people we read about in the newspaper. Now I just keep thinking about the families of these people. And their friends and girlfriends and boyfriends. It's happening to them and it's just so sad and so depressing. but nonetheless, when I left base today I was proud to be a soldier.

Heddy is engaged and I'm super excited for her and I'm super happy she's in my life because I don't know what I would do without her. Actually. She is my lifesaver.

That's it for now. I love Israel.

That's it for now.

The big question

Im a part of a Zionist book club here. Me and some friends and some friends of friends have decided to get together, read some Zionist books to challenge ourselves and then eventually do something to make Israel a better place. Last week we talked about a lot of different things and one of the other soldiers mentioned to me that my job in the army must be extremely gratifying. As a a mashakit chinuch I have the ability to influence soldiers and dig into them to help them understand the importance of this country and their job in the army.

And then I couldn't stop thinking about it. What am I doing to make Israel and my soldiers better? I can keep saying that it's because of my Hebrew, but I know that I can step up to the challenge and make a difference. I've been writing educational Peulot since I was thirteen! That's 10 years! So why do I have writers block?! Have I been removed from camp that long that I can't think of Peulot to do?! Its not that I'm not doing anything because I'm definitely doing things. But I can do so much more! I just don't know where to begin. This is my passion, the perfect job for me, and exactly what I want to be doing. So why is it so difficult?


Today I was in a cab and suddenly the cab driver said to me (in Hebrew obviously) "sometimes I look at all of these buildings in tel aviv and I remember what this city was like before all of this. I grew up here". It really warmed my heart and made me love this country. I love how much it has changed (for the good and the bad) in such a short period of time. I love that there are people who are wee who remember tel aviv when it was sandy and people who lived here before we had the old city. Its the stories and moments like this that I'm happy I'm an American Jew who made Aliyah. I get to appreciate these stories and have those moments that make me love this country. The question is how do I help Israelis feel that?

To be in uniform...

The past two weeks, in terms of my army service, have been quite the experience. Firstly, I finally became the Mashakit (my position) for my soldiers because shir, their old Mashakit was released from the army. Yes, I was excited to finally have my own job, but I was also scared. My Hebrew is great, but it's got a lonnngggg way to go. How was I going to communicate? Especially on the phone when it's a lot harder?

And then we had Holocaust Memoral day, Memorial Day for our soldiers. And Independence day. Three of the most important days of the year. I could write about all of the work we did and all of the activities, but that's not what I want to write about. I want to write about the feeling of belonging, yet being on the outside, the feeling of pride, and remembrance.

On Holocaust Remembrance Day, I had the opportunity to stand in silence for a minute while a siren rang out throughout the country. I had come to this country to serve in the IDF in order to ensure the safety of the Jewish people and the Jewish state. I thought of all of the people who had been alive just over 64 years ago. They didn't have a state to fight for. Now, because of te army, Jews around the world no longer need to be afraid. Because our army is, as David Ben gurion called it, a people's army. We are made up by the people of Israel and the Jewish people and we are here for Jews around the world. So on Holocaust Remembrance Day, that's what I thought about. I remembered those who perished without ever being able to see the Jewish State. And I promised myself that I would educate as many soldiers as possible about the importance of this army and the state.

And that was an emotional experience. Memorial Day and Independence Day had the same effect on me. I could sit and blabber about the Zionism and the pride I feel, but I don't need to explain. Very simply put, I am an Israeli soldier, living in the Jewish state. I speak the language of people, I'm educating about our past and trying to get people to think about the future. Im homesick as anything, and I miss my friends in America more than I ever have in my life, but I still know that this is where my life is supposed to be, and this is where I will try to build a life.

This morning I woke up sad and homesick. Last night I spoke to Maggie on Skype, which opened up the wound of extreme longing for my friends in America. It's these feelings that are the hardest for me. I don't have physical difficulties in the army. An yea, I do sit in an office. But it's still hard. Everyday I have a new challenge. And that's why, even though I have never lost anyone in an Israeli war (thank gd) and even though I felt on the outside on yom hazikaron, those days were important to me, too. Important to help me remember why I'm here.

This morning my host dad was waiting for me outside to take me to the train and I was about to leave when I told myself I needed to bring something with me to put me in a better mood. So, true to my character, I took my Hadaya necklace and put it on. This week, I will wear the map of Israel with the words "אין לי ארץ אחרת״ (I have no other country). Typical and cheesy, but I hope it'll remind me why I'm here.

Bombs over Ashdod....

I really never got it. Every time I showed the Sderot video, every time I talked about what people can do in 15 seconds, every time I updated my facebook status about rockets in Israel. I didn't actually understand until I had to run to the shelter. Until I was the one that was running, I was the one that heard it while I was in the bathroom. Now I finally understand.

This morning, I looked at the newspaper and on the front page was a picture of an 11 year old boy talking about what he does when the rockets fall and how his house doesn't have any safe room and so sometimes he throws up because he has no protection. That is not childhood.

And then I heard the siren and I was the one that wanted to throw up. Because the rockets aren't far away. They are here. Right next to me. it's no longer a hasbara campaign I'm launching during Israel peace week. It's my life. And it's really fucking scary.

I was sitting in the shelter waiting for the all clear sound and nobody was even phased by it. "it's annoying" they said. "can we leave yet?" "I have things to do". THESE PEOPLE ARE USED TO IT. And it is so sad. It's so sad that there is nothing to do except for get used to it. And Israelis continue with their lives. Its not ok. When Israel has air strikes in Gaza, its not because they feel like it. Its because it's not ok that people have to run for their lives 10 times a day. In half of an hour, we ran twice. I'm sure it'll happen again. When I spoke about it with the girls in my office, they told me that I'll get used to it too. But I don't want to get used to it. And they shouldn't be used to to it either.

I came to Israel to live and I intend to stay here. But I hope and pray that my kids will read about tzeva adoms in their history book instead of experiencing them while staying home from school because it's too dangerous to go.

So tell your friends who are reading the NY Times, watching CNN and NBC what's really going on. That Israelis are interrupting their daily routine in order to run to bomb shelters. And until they stop shooting rockets, we will continue to fight for our right to live our lives without sirens.

Slow but not so steady

I've been on my new base for about a month now and part of me feels like I've been here forever. The other part f me feels like I just got here. The army is a weird thing in this country. It's an army in a sense that there are commanders and officers, and people with weapons, and there are people on guard duty all the time. On the other hand, it's an entire social network like a school. People have groups of friends on base, there's always gossip, work to be done and advice to be given about boys and life. There's no real vacation, it's year round, but every weekend you get to go home to the real world.

My month here has been somewhat of an emotional roller coaster. I cry a lot but I also laugh a lot. The key words seem to be "לאט לאט״ which means slowly slowly. Adjustment takes time for everyone...and will take longer for me because of my language, culture, and age barrier. I work with a stag of 4 girls. Right now there are 5 of us, because I am taking a place of one girl who is leaving in a month. It's difficult. I have a ton to learn, but I won't actually learn until I jump in and start doing things. I'm meeting a ton of people, but I never remember their names and a lot of times it's hard for me to follow conversations when were in a group of people. One on one it's a lot easier, but I have yet to get he chance. But I love the girls in my office. Im here with one girl from my course, and I don't know what I would do without her.

Last week I led my first peulah (activity/lecture) on the Israeli flag (typical). I did it for my unit...about 10 to 15 people. We talked about why countries have flags and we looked at pictures of different situations that incorporates the flag: burning it, soldiers carrying it during war, my graduation hat, etc. we discussed the emotion behind the flag and debated whether or not Israeli youth recognize the importance. I think it went pretty well. My officer told me that it really came from my heart and because of that it made it really special. I think that is really what is going to make me a strong Mashakit Chinuch. The fact that every peulah I do about Israel or Zionism or Judaism (basically everything) is really going to come from my heart because i really believe in it.

Its hard to be here at times. I feel lonely a lot and sometimes I feel that I won't make any real friends on base. But the other day when I had dinner with Lital, she told me that in two years when I finish it's going to be totally worth it. My Hebrew will be amaing I will understand a lot more about Israeli culture, and I will have gone trough why most Israelis have gone through. It's just hard to remember that sometimes.

Even in my saddest most depressed moments though, I know that coming to Israel was the right thing to do. Tho really is the place that I belong. I really really believe in being here, and even though I don't always feel like I'm fully a part of this country, I know that I'm here for a reason and I know that my children will be here as Israelis.

This is just the beginning?!?

It's been a really long time since I've written a blog entry. Let me preface this by saying that i am sitting in the bus station waiting to get Ina bus to go to the bakum(the place in the army where people go in and never come out...) to switch my uniform because I have been placed in the navy!! I get a pretty white uniform for ceremonies and a khaki uniform for the rest of the time..yay!

The past two and a half months have honestly been the most challenging of my entire life. I have never worked so hard in my life, and it's not easy to literally spend every waking moment studying and then find out that you passed the test, but just barely. I was in, what I think, is the best course for the best position in the army...education!! I was with ninety girls between the ages of 18 and 20, many of whom had never been away from home. I learned about everything there is to know about this country: from the Haredim, to David Ben gurion, to current events, to the ancient history of Israel. I traveled to Gaza and the west bank, had an incredibly meaningful and educational week in Jerusalem, and I learned how to do my job army style.

It wasn't the glorious army life I wanted. There were no boys, no good food, and a ton of tears. There are 2 breakdowns that stick out in my mind that I want to share. The first came after a few day of non stop rain. The night before, I had to be on patrol and walk around the base to guard the perimeter. The mud reached my ankles, and the girl I was walking with thought she was the prettiest girl in the world and insisted on telling me about it for an hour. Then I found out that I had to be on call...meaning I had to sleep in my uniform INCLUDING my disgusting muddy shoes. I don't know why that set me off, but I lost it. First I called my mom and sobbed louder and harder than I did when I saw the notebook for the first time. Then, all the other (incredibly wonderful) garin Tzabar girls came downstairs and sat with me while I wailed and wailed about how I hated 18 year olds and how Zionism doesn't mean sleeping in muddy shoes. Then I sat in a puddle, which therefore made me cry harder. In that moment, I truly felt like it was the end of the world. I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I felt more alone than I ever have in my entire life. I hope that nobody ever experiences the feeling I experienced that night. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. In the end, I slept in my shoes and it was fine, obviously.

My second breakdown occurred after I finished basic training. (this incident was before the muddy shoes). I was on a high, and heddy and teddy had just left the base after watching my swear allegiance to the state of Israel (they didn't know that I swore alliegence at age 10 already). My commander pulled me aside and told me (in her really fast hebrew) that I ha to meet with the commander of my course. I sat down, and she proceeded to tell me that "there was no way I was going to succeed in my course". The Hebrew just wasn't here for me, and there wasn't much they could do-the decision was out of their hands. I cried and cried and told them, in my broken Hebrew, how much I wanted to be there and how I would do anything for a chance. They told me the next day I had a meeting with the commander of my base (not an exact translation) and that she would make the decision. I lost it. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed all night. I called my mom and Sharon (one of the soldiers that lived with us before we went to the army). She assured me that thy just try to scare people, but I didnt believe her. The next day, I went into my meeting armed with my love for Israel and my passion for education. The commander informed me that she could get me a job where I can speak English and still learn Hebrew, to which I responded that I wanted this position and that they couldn't tell me no. I told them that I have a passion for this country and forthr values it was built on that nobody else in the course had. I explained that my degree in education already proves that I am in the right place and that I didn't intend to leave. Everytime she said "but if you dot succeed..." I stopped her and informed her that there was no way that I wasnt going to succeed. Then she told me she would give me to the middle of the course to see if I was progressing. That was the moment I made a switch. Yes, I still cried every day almost, and I still needed the motivational pep talks from my parents, my garin, and my wonderful friends in the course. But I knew I had no other option but to succeed. And so on Shabbat, when girls slept in, or went out, I read. During breaks, when girls hung out, I studied. And on the tests, when some girls didn't pass, I DID!!!

I wish I had written in my blog throughout my course. I had so many moments of fear and sadness, happiness and pride, and of course, I had my moments of Zionism. Not only did I pass the course and finished, I also received an award "מצטיינת מופת״ which I like to translate to "the people's choice award". Basically the girls in my course voted for me. I did it. I succeeded in my course but I couldnt have done it without the help of the girls in my tzevet, my friends from my garin, my commanders, my "big sister" and my parents.

I am now a מש״קית חינוך (Mashakit Chinuch) and I am in the navy ready to make these soldiers into zionists. Im starting from new, in a new place, with new people, and it's not going to be easy. I have a lotttttttt to learn with my Hebrew and I plan on learning more and more every day. I'm glad I'm here. Israel is where I need to be, and the army is what I need to be doing.

Ps: happy birthday meg!

First Shabbat off of the army!

On Wednesday, November 16th, exactly 10 years after my Bat Mitzvah, I joined the Israeli Defense Forces.  The day was long, but I was ready.  I got my dog tags, my IDF personal number, my ID that allows me to ride public transportation for free, and my dental X-rays.  Following this long day (it lasted from 5AM and we finished at 8PM), we loaded busses to take us to our base in the South. We arrived at the base and had more talks and interviews.  I sat with an army social worker who made sure that I felt that I was getting enough money because of my lone soldier status and I sat with an officer who praised me for coming to join the army despite my "older age".  At 10PM that first night, we finally sat down for dinner, and at midnight I finally got my hour of free time before going to bed.  

The next day was filled with running from a Chet formation to two lines, and back again.  I did push ups, listened to endless lectures about how to wear my uniform, how to wear my hair, how to behave, how to sit in attention formation.  It was pretty miserable, but despite it all, I had a smile on my face.  I had followed my dream, and I was wearing an IDF uniform.  It felt so good.  I was assigned to a mefakedet (a commander), and a tzevet (my group of girls). These people, for the next two and a half months were going to be my best friends, my family, my translators, and my support.  We were together until the end of our course and I knew that we were going to be incredibly close despite our age difference.  

On Friday morning, after waking us up at 5AM, they released a bunch of us early because of how far north we live.  The commander of our entire course told us that we were now Israeli soldiers, Jewish soldiers, and we were representing the State of Israel and the Jewish people.  I was so emotional I couldn't stop smiling and I had tears in my eyes.  She turned to me and asked if I was okay, and I replied "Yes commander, I'm just extremely emotional".  The girls around me giggled.  They understand why I came, why I find it important, but they still found me funny.  But it didn't matter.  At that moment, so early in the morning, as I stood at attention with 15 other girls, I knew that the next two years were going to be difficult, but they were going to be incredible.  I had made the right decision.  I was in Israel, serving in the army, just like all of the other Israelis do.  I was in an army that protects MY people, the Jewish people.  The truth is, I'm excited to go back to the army on Sunday.  It's all an experience, and it's going to be a great one. 

Some thoughts before the army...

Since the last time I posted, so much has happened.  We had a final hike as a garin to the Judaean desert, I went on a cruise with three people from my garin, I've met some great new people, and lastly and most importantly, I celebrated my 23rd birthday!!

Currently, I am sitting in my room with Amy, my roommate.  We just finished breakfast and we're getting ready to go shopping for some last minute stuff before we go into the army.  Amy is going in tomorrow to Kishrei Chutz (foreign relations) and I am going in on Wednesday as a Mashikit Chinuch (education).  The past three months have been incredible.  We formed a real family with our garin, we explored the country, we improved our hebrew, and we began experience the bureaucracy that can also be called hell.  But the best part is, that we fell in love with this country all over again, but this time we fell in love as Israelis.  I could not be happier than I am in Israel.  Every part of my mind, body, and soul knows that moving to Israel and joining the Israeli Defense Forces was the right decision.  This has been a dream of mine since solelim, in 5th grade at Sprout Lake.  Of course I'm scared out of my mind.  I have no idea what to expect, where I will be, who I will be with, and when the next time I come home will be...not to mention the fact that I'm about to enter an environment where everyone speaks a foreign language that I am still trying to grasp.  But it's going to be worth it.  Because two years from now, I am going to be finished the army and I will be a part of Israeli society.  I can't wait.

So I know this is short, and not that insightful, but to all of you who are reading this, I'm really happy.  And I really believe in Aliyah and in Israel. Wish me luck in the army!

Gilad is home and I am home.

Every time I tell someone that I'm an olah chadasha (new immigrant), they tell me that I came at an exciting time.  But the truth is, life is never boring in this country.  I just got back from Regba after being away since last Wednesday, and it feels good to be home.  On Wednesday, I met up with a friend of mine from Young Judaea who I always looked up to.  Teddy made Aliyah last week, and I went with him to Beit Tzipporah (aka his family's apartment in Jerusalem) to spend Simchat Torah. We did a little shul hopping, met some religious Americans, and then went to yet another Judaean's apartment for the chag.  Steve is also  Teddy's age (25), from Young Judaea and made Aliyah three years ago.  After dinner, we decided to turn the chag into a secular one, and we went out to a few bars and I even got into the King David Hotel! (A story for another time...)

It felt good to be with some Judaeans.  After all, Young Judaea is the reason why I made Aliyah.  It is really great to be able sit and talk with some Zionists who think like me, in terms of my idealism (not so ideal anymore) and in terms of Zionist thinkers (gotta love me some Golda and Herzl).  Not only do I owe my Zionism to Young Judaea, as well as my Aliyah, but I also must say that almost my entire base of friends in Israel is because of Young Judaea:  I've got old counselors, co-counselors, fellow campers, and of course, my incredible scouts on year course.  I have Year Course teachers, machon leaders, and Israelis that came to camp for a summer and who now offer me the shirt off their backs.  I would be miserable and lonely and in America if it weren't for Young Judaea.  It only makes me hope that the relationship I built with my campers affects them as much as my relationship with my counselors affected me.  I know that I'm not done giving back to YJ, but I hope that what I have done thus far is enough to sustain me until after the army.  Not to mention, I'm going to be in the education unit in the army and I plan on writing some kick ass peulot that, obviously, I learned how to write in Young Judaea...

Anywho...I'm starting to really feel acclimated in this country.  It feels like I never left.  And it's an incredible country to be a part of.  When Gilad came home, and we were all watching on television, I could only imagine how many people were glued to the TV.  This country is a giant family, with an infinite number of opinions and beliefs, but nonetheless a family.  I now am privileged to be a part of it.  I keep getting asked by friends in America what I think about the Gilad Schalit deal.  I like to think that my thoughts haven't changed, but being here and being drafter in a month really has cemented my thoughts on the matter.  Yes, it is really terrible that we had to give 1000 prisoners back in order to get Gilad Schalit back.  But I would expect Israel to do the same to any of the boys in my garin (g-d forbid), any of my friends, brothers, neighbors, and eventually my sons.  It is true that these terrorists may become terrorists again, but regardless, when our boys show up on the day of their draft, they are promising to protect this nation and the Jewish people no matter what it takes. For three years they do whatever it takes to keep this country safe.  The least we can do it promise them that we will try whatever we can to make sure they come back home safe and alive.  It's a simple request, and one that I truly believe needs to be granted for every soldier that fights in the IDF.

This chofesh/chag, it felt good to be home.  It felt good to be in Israel, it felt good to be with friends and loved ones, and it felt good to be home.  Making Aliyah and joining the army really is a dream, and I am floating on the clouds...at least until I arrive at basic training! :)

Fresh start!

A month from today, I will be joining the Israeli Defense Forces.  Slowly, slowly, it has begun to sink in that despite the fact that this is my dream, I am about to give up my life and my free will for the next two years.  When I am released from the army, I will be 25.  That's really old.  And though people tell me that it isn't that old, and I have my whole life ahead of me, I can't  help but panic a little bit.  My friends in America will be in law school, or med school, or will be climbing the ladder in the work world.  I'm going to have to start from scratch and decide what I want to do with my life.  I'm trying to think like an Israeli--one step at a time.  What's the rush to start my life?  But as hard as I try to think like an Israeli, I can't get past the idea that the next two years are going to be long and challenging and probably the hardest thing I've done so far.  

This past week has been a particularly difficult one for me and it was a slap in the face.  My garin gave me the support I needed, but I still felt isolated and alone.  I've only been here for 2 months!  We're all still learning a lot about each other, and figuring out what each person needs.  All I wanted was to be at home in America with my friends.  Though I reached out to my friends in America and some of them responded with texts and calls and emails, some of my closest friends have barely responded.  It was because of this that I realized that I need to jump into this thing head first.  Its not that I want to forget my American friends, because I love them dearly (really...I love you guys to the moon and back) but they aren't going to be here.  They won't be able to hug me, or go out with me for my birthday.  They can't sit with me when I'm sad, and they can't just pick up the phone to call like it's nothing.  I live in Israel, now.  I need to focus on building my life here, and make all of my decisions based on what I want as opposed to my relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. (Even though those are obviously important, too).

This is a fresh start.  For me, this week helped me realize a lot of things, though it will take time to get used to them.   Garin Regba is my family, Moshav Regba is my home, and the army is my life for the next two years.  I can't wait to begin my two year service in the army, and there is nobody I would rather go through it with than with my Garin. 

Gilad Schalit!

This is an op ed I just wrote for the BU newspaper...I really hope that they print it in the paper, but I wanted to share my thoughts!

My name is Arielle Adler.  I am BU alumni.  I graduated from the School of Education in May 2011 and in August, I picked up my entire life and moved to the State of Israel to join the Israeli Defense Forces.  I did not know how much my life and my studies at BU would affect my life here in the Middle East.  I did not realize that I was going to be placed in the Education unit in the army, and I was going to be able to use my degree to teach soldiers about their country, about the heroes who have fallen in battle, and about the struggles Israel faces every day.  Since I’ve been here, there have been multiple terrorist attacks, threats of a third intifada, and just now, rumors of a  kidnapped soldier, Gilad Schalit, coming home.

            Needless to say, it has been a pretty busy couple of months adjusting to my new life.  My adjustment period is almost over.  My draft date is November 16^th, and I am ready and excited to go into the Defense Forces armed with my BU education on how to be a good teacher.  But more than that, I am ready to make a difference.  Being a student at Boston University taught me that we really do need to take a stand on something…whether it is composting in the GSU or rallying for Darfur.   As I sit by my radio anxiously waiting to hear the news about the deal Israel has made with Hamas to bring Gilad Schalit home, I think about how lucky I was to go to BU.  I understand compassion because of the friends I made there, I understand the meaning of hard work, and most importantly, I understand why we need to change the world.  Enjoy Boston University, guys…but don’t forget that the rest of the world is waiting for you to change it. 

This year in Jerusalem! (slash Tel Aviv)

Life in the Eretz is still going pretty well.  Despite the fact that I've been here for a little more than a month, it still feels like Year Course.  We're having the time of our life!  On Friday morning, they woke us up at 3:30 AM and told us we had ten minutes to get ready.  We then walked from our lovely moshav to Acco for breakfast, where we enjoyed Israel's best hummus.  Afterwards, we went to a country club where there were water slides and jacuzzis and all sorts of wonderful things.

My hebrew has gotten a lot better and I've only been here a month, but I can honestly say it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to do in my life.  I find myself getting frustrated incredibly quickly and overwhelmed with my learning.  But I know that I'll get there.  We also received our "manillas" which are the list of options we are allowed to choose from in the army.  I chose education as my number one choice, and then I chose a job that would be working with international organizations and then my third choice is a fitness instructor (i could teach spin class!)  Supposedly I will get one of my top three choices, and I'm counting on my education degree to get me into the education unit.

Everyday I find things about Israel that make me smile and remember why I'm here.  This country is just incredibly unique and ridiculous and also really compassionate.  A couple of weeks ago I was in Tel Aviv and I needed directions so I stopped to ask this older man with a kippa where I should go and after giving me directions and talking for about 15 minutes, he pinched my cheeks, called me a cutie, and sent me on my way.  Had that happened in the States, who knows what my reaction would have been, but it felt so normal here!  Everywhere we go, my roommate and I tell everyone that we are new immigrants and more than half of the time, we receive discounts.  It's a beautiful thing that whenever we do tell people we are immigrants, they don't scoff like people may do in America.  Instead, they smile and say "wow, kol hakavod (all of my respect), welcome to Israel!".  That's amazing!  And this happens EVERY DAY!

The holidays are coming soon and we have a lot of free time!

And so it begins!

We FINALLY got internet that works in our room, and I'm so excited!  Things have been really good recently.  I still feel like I'm on Year Course, because life is so easy and wonderful and I travel whenever we have an open weekend.  A couple of weeks ago we had our Tzav Rishon (our first call up).  We went to this building in Tiberias and we had to take all of these ridiculous tests.  I had a doctor check up, I had to take an IQ type test, took a Hebrew test, and I met with a social worker so that the army knows I'm a lone soldier and that I'm financially independent.  I then got my social worker to bring to me another lady who is in charge of placing people in positions, and I got her to fax my resume to an office in Tel Aviv that is in charge of seeing what positions are open this year for my giyus (my draft date).  It was a really long day and I was exhausted by the end of it.  I did pretty well with my scores though...not as good as I wanted, but still pretty good.  The week was pretty standard, we had ulpan and then that weekend we had a closed weekend and it was two peoples birthday in my garin!  We went out for dinner on Thursday night to this REALLY good burger place called BBB and then we went to the pub that is close to our moshav called The Para'a (The cow).  It was bira vnshira night (beer and singing) so you can only imagine how happy I was.  I didn't even drink anything and I was up and singing and dancing with the old people.  I love Israel because they play  fun songs like Shemesh and Mitachat Hashamayim.

This past week we had Gadna, which is supposed to be an army simulation.  It was one of those things that when I was in it, it put me in a really bad mood but now that it's over it was really fun. I had a really good group of people and we had a blast together.  Our commander was this adorable little girl (seriously...she was 3 years younger than me).  When we broke distance on Thursday (that's when the commanders finally stop yelling and tell us about themselves) she was really funny and the truth is that the whole time we were with her, she cut us breaks.  We rarely got in trouble, it was pretty fun.

After gadna, I visited my family in Hertziliya and then on Friday I slept at Shimon's house (my scout from year course).  we went to shabbat dinner at our other scout's house and then another scout came and we went to this really cool thing called a poyka where basically there is a bon fire and everyone puts food in and we make a delicious stew thing and then you eat it.  It was really really fun!!!

Things are going pretty well still and I am really happy and thats about it!

ein shabbat cmo shabbat b'yerushalayim (theres no shabbat like shabbat in jerusalem)

Last week for me was an incredibly difficult week.  I think that because I did not feel anything before I left for Israel, it all hit me at once.  Speaking hebrew was incredibly difficult, and I tried to (and still try) to speak all the time, but it just feels like there is a never ending list of words and rules and conjugations that I will never know.  I had one REALLY bad day, and then that night our soldiers that live with us and are basically our counselors--they run activities, talk with us, etc-- woke us up in the middle of the night to show us a little bit of what it means to be in the army.  At one point, they yelled at me to do seven push ups   and I had no idea what she was saying (obviously...they didn't teach us the word push up in hebrew class at BU) and it just felt so so shitty.  After it was over, I went back into my room and SOBBED.  I told my roommate that I felt like I didn't want to do it and I wouldn't be able to survive it.  Immediately after, my two chaylot (soldiers) came into my room.  It had been obvious that I was having a lot of trouble with my hebrew and they made me feel a lot better.  After they left, Amy and I sat and complained about all the stupid little shit that pissed us off and after we got it all off our chests, I breathed a sigh of relief and started over....and there is nothing better to restore a sense of meaning then spending a Shabbat in Jerusalem. 

I got to Jerusalem on Friday morning and my two friends (rachel and amy) and I immediately went to Machane Yehudah--the shuk in Jerusalem.  It's so incredible to see a place PACKED with people, with everyone getting ready for Shabbat.  I was spending the weekend with Heddy, my friend who went to Brandis, worked for Hasbara with me, and made Aliyah a month before I did.  It was so so nice to have someone to talk with who knows me from home, and who understands my ridiculous crazy loud Zionism.  It was also nice to talk with someone who isn't in my Garin (even though I love them) about being in Israel, and making Aliyah, etc.  We went to her boyfriend's family's house for Friday night dinner and I had the most delicious split pea soup.  It was really really nice.  I really like doing Shabbat, and I missed it! I feel like I havn't done it since BU and it really is such a nice thing to do.  After we hung out for a while, Heddy and I walked back to where we were staying for the night and on the way we decided to walk by the Gilad Schalit tent.  I had never seen it before, and it really hit home.

There is something really really incredible about this country, and I think that the situation with Gilad Schalit really exemplifies it.  In Israel, when a soldier goes missing or a soldier dies, the whole country grieves.  In America, it doesn't hit home, because how many people (at least in my life) do I know that are American soldiers.  But here, that soldier could be my friend, or my neighbor, or my boyfriend, or my brother.  Now that I'm living with 15 boys, 14 of whom want to be in combat, I get it.  I understand why Gilad's parents have given up their lives for their son. 

After we passed the the tent, Heddy and I ran into 6 or 7 people that we knew.  That's another thing about Israel--"wherever you go, there's always someone Jewish".  I ran into a camper from Sprout Lake who had just gotten back and she was so sad! I remembered what it was like to leave camp at the end of the summer (especially Bogrim year) and I really felt for her!  And then I told her that I had just made aliyah and how if you can't be at camp, at least she gets to be in Israel...the place that she learns about ALL THE TIME at camp.  And we talked about TY and Machon and Year Course and it made me so grateful for Young Judaea. It really is the reason why I'm here, and it made me think about how I really do want to do something in my life for people like YJ did for me!  

And then today we had a really great discussion about the army, and about Israelis that don't go to the army, and about what we're doing.  We talked about how the army is like "the people build the army builds the people" We talked about it what it meant that the army is a "nation's army".  And it made me so proud.  It made me so happy to be a Jew, and I love that I am joining an army not just for Israel, but for all of the Jewish people in the world.  It's really really an incredible concept, and there is nothing else like it in the world.  

I'm feeling really good about being here, and even though I'm having a lot of trouble with my hebrew, I know it's the right thing, and I know if I keep working hard, I'll be good.  

YAY Israel! 

BEACH! HEBREW! FAMILY! AHH!

Day 2 on the moshav!!! It is a beautiful beautiful place.  Our rooms are incredible.   There are 2 beds, a kitchenette with a toaster a kum kum (hot water heater that's  electric), plates, etc.  Our bathroom is a typical Israeli bathroom with a curtain  around the floor and a showerhead. There's a squeegie-woohoo- I don't know why  america hasn't adapted them yet. I'm living with my friend amy who I really really like.  She's from boston and were  both chill down to earth people.  I love love love my garin!  Everyone is really great  (even though I have my typical annoyances with people).  I feel like iif I needed  something from any of them I could ask. My host mom is awesome!!! I've only met her twice but she's great!  She doesn't  speak much english (but don't worry dad she speaks some!) And I feel like were  both very warm people. Everyone on the moshav tells me that she has 4 boys  and they are all incredibly good looking! I can't wait to meet them..... I'm trying so hard to speak only hebrew but what everyone told me is  correct-when everyone speaks english its soooo hard to speak hebrew.   But I know its important and I reallyreally need to practice. I think I'm going  to start sitting with one of the boys in my garin everyday to work on my hebrew.   Its important. We went running this morning to the beach! Its so pretty!  Today was Regba's birthday (65) so the entire moshav got  together to celebrate the founding of their amazing home.   It was really fun. I had a lot of bugs in my room-an infestation--and I realized  that israel doesn't care about rthem as much as I do.. Don't  know what to do without my dad to kill them. I wish I brought  the bug vacuum. Anyway-all in all I'm still happy but it still feels like vacation! Miss you all:)

I'm Israeli! (and really tired)

We got to the airport yesterday at 9:30 in the morning and the next few hours were spent checking in luggage, taking pictures, getting free tshirts, and hanging out with the family.  My Aunt Ellen came and so did my Uncle Mickey (who is no longer meaner than Hitler cause he brought me popcorn!) The ceremony that they held at JFK was not as exciting and emotional as I thought it would be, and I still didn't cry! When it was time to say goodbye, I hugged both my parents and that was it! I cried a little, after all, it was sad, and my parents are the best parents EVERRRR, but I still don't think I realized what it meant that I was saying bye.

I have to admit--the flight was pretty uneventful.  I don't know what I was expecting--maybe a party in the air?  It felt like a Machon or Year Course flight--everyone was up and about talking to their friends.  I had expected singing and dancing!  It was a simcha, after all!  But when I tried to start some Am Yisrael Chai singing with some friends, nobody joined in!  It was so sad!  But landing in Israel, was as incredible as I had expected.  I couldn't stop smiling.  It was different this time.  Knowing that I proactively decided to follow my dreams and go to Israel and join the army made this landing a lot better than all of the others.

When we got off the plane I expected everyone who came to see us to be standing there.  Instead, there was a ton of press making us do different poses, say different things.  I felt like a celebrity (and I obviously ate it all up)!  Then we got on a BUS to take us to where all of our friends were.  It was not like they show in the nefesh videos! 2 of my girlfriends from the Garin came to welcome us, as well as our friend Sam in the garin.  It was really great to see friendly faces.  The ceremony, for those of you who didn't watch it (and shout out to those who did!) was REALLY long and pretty boring.  But I succeeded in getting on camera a couple of times, one of which is me dancing! It was the highlight of the whole ceremony!  Then they took us upstairs to process our paperwork.  We signed up for health insurance, we got some kesef to get us going, and we got our Teudat Oleh (thats my temporary identity card before I get my real Israeli passport!) It was so exciting!!!!  I then got my luggage, which took forever (and for all of you Sprouties you should know that the way they labeled/gave us our bags after the flight was the same way we do it for Family Fun Day!).  Afterwards I took  my free cab ride to Roey's!  It was really a long process and I was hungry and dehydrated and exhausted.

I am so lucky to have a good of friend as Roey!  As soon as I got there he helped me with my luggage, let me take a nap in his bed, and made me shnitzel!  What a dude, right?  After my nap I spoke with the Tsofim who told me that channel 2 (a big news station here) was going to do an interview with me!  I got to go down to the TV station and they put on makeup and everything!  My interview can be found here.  The truth is, it was a really difficult day.  When I skyped with my parents it took everything in me not to cry.  I was lucky to have Roey, and I called my friend Sahar in my garin, but I just felt so alone.  I knew that this was where I belonged, but I was just so sad and tired and I was so anxious.  But as I'm sure you guys could have guessed, being in the limelight put the spring back in my step.  After my big TV debut, I went out to dinner with Roey and his boyfriend, Maor and then I came home and slept from 10-830!  It was SO amazing.  Today I spent the day with people from my Garin and then I went out to dinner with my mom's cousin, Yael.

I'm really looking forward to ACTUALLY getting to know my family in Israel.  I can't wait to be fluent in hebrew, wear an army uniform, and not say sorry when I brush past someone on the street!  Tomorrow is my Garin Tzabar Tekes and I am PUMPED.  Can't wait to see my new mishpacha, Garin Regba THE BOSS.

I miss everyone and I love you all! Please email me and keep in touch!

Last night in town!

It's 12 minutes past midnight, which means I'm moving today! Hooray!  I feel like I should be writing a really emotional sappy entry, but I'm just excited!  I'll (hopefully) be keeping everyone up to date by writing on here!

Welp, here goes nothing!